reliance

Runners, by nature, tend to be rather untrusting people. We're suspicious because everyone around us tends to be just as untrustworthy and suspicious as we are. Criminals don't ever trust each other, and those that do get let down and die. The only thing you can count on is having to rely on yourself to survive. Even places can betray us.
Maybe its that all people are suspicious. Running just brings out the worst traits in the downtrodden. I like to think I'm only here for the experience, but somewhere along the way I've made this my life. I suppose maybe the people who live this way are the most realistic, the most human. Or what used to be called human. They're rejected the worlds they come from, the soulsucking prospect of society.
Its freedom.

But it comes with a price. Freedom is living outside the rules and danger breeds distrust. We risk it all, and if you fail at this life, you're done for good. Either dead, or in jail somewhere, worse off than you would have been had you never started Running.

The problem is, we've got to get along. We agree to work together to get what we want, but we don't agree to trust. Some crews can manage it, some crews are bound together by loyalty or even love. Some crews are families because humans need each other. Most Runners won't admit that.
Every time you take a contract, you depend on others to survive. I've entrusted my life to countless men and women, but each time have been able to slip out, break free before it cost me more than I can afford. I'm not lucky, I'm smart. And, like so many Runners, proud of that fact.

I'll never forget Rigon. Admist the crazed rush, the danger and fear and pure thrill of a challenge there was a quiet moment before the jumps began. Jamieson leaned heavily on the back of my chair, watching as I programmed that impossible route. He was as intent as he ever was, but for once was not in control. He may even have been afraid.
"Trust me," I murmured, "trust me."
And he did.
And we survived.
Thats what the stories say.

We've all learned not to trust, not easily or even after years together. Caban and I took a chance, and its working. Its almost awkward, being the new crew on the Oberon. For all their time together, he can't rely on Ice fully, but I can't blame him. She is untouchable. And I know that when she looks at me she sees my quick escape at Xylos, my oft-repeated disappearing acts. Will she bother to forgive me? Will Caban ever notice the looks we shoot at eachother and pretend we don't see, or will he dive back into his enthusiastic business that much more confident?

In the end, its not given to us to know what the future holds. But I've got a feeling that this is a safe place to be.