watching

I felt something heavy and round in each of my hands, and when I looked down to see what I was holding, I saw, cupped in each palm, a bright blue eyeball staring up at me.

I didn't scream or try to drop them, just looked down into the blank gaze. They were Lys' eyes, but made horrific by their lack of attachment to anything else. There was no scrap of skin, no hint of a smile, nothing that made them part of him. They were severed, inhuman, and completely horrible because of it.

When I woke up I remembered falling down the ladder, and not wanting to ask the Doctor for meds, and dosing myself. This most likely is the explanation for the dreams, but does not allow me to escape from the feeling that I am being watched. That something is not as it seems. Normally I would be comforted by Ulysses' presence, or any reminder of him, but he was not there. Just two bits of his body, utterly cold and meaningless.

error

When we pierced the outer hull of the little ship and slammed the airlock into place, there was no puff of silica insulation, and I thought the ship was a real junkheap.
We didn't figure out that the ship had already been popped by Runners for quite some time, as the family inside spoke very poor English. It took a long while to convince them that we were not going to hurt them, but instead find some way to help.
The last Runners, who had hit them a day or so ago, had not left enough of anything for the man, woman, and two pale spacelings, they had less than us. We still have enough alcohol and random cooking spices to pretend, and our water supplies have not been stolen either.
I'll never know if we would have been kinder or better than those other Runners, but there is no way I can convince myself that the family had no reason to fear us. We gave them water and repairs and set them on a faster Nav course, but just as easily we might have left them spinning.
The woman looked at me with tears in her eyes, and I tried my best to feel nothing at all.



The ship that popped them is only hours away from us now, holding steady toward Miklund. We're off course to intercept them, but we'll get there before we starve. We've all made so many mistakes already.