old mistakes

Walking into that meeting and not seeing Blackthorn meant that Ice got shot.

Not seeing him meant we got shaken off half our coin.

It also means that he’s been watching us, waiting to rust us over with the oldest trick he knew would fool us: disappear until the Scout is gone.

All of this is completely unacceptable. Unpaid, wounded…mistakes layer on mistakes, and I feel everything slipping. I’ve been far more ragged than this, but not for a long time. Why? We have a clean crew, a reliable company I’ve come to care for. I even wrote “we” without meaning to. And for once there is something for me to push forward for, rather than look back at. That little viable hope that is waiting for me. Is it keeping me from concentrating, from doing what needs to be done? Perhaps. Make one mistake too many and it will all be for nothing. Everything I’ve done and everything Lys did…

Caban was bent over the nav seat, studying our route to nowhere. I slipped up beside him and laid my hand on his arm, just as he always used to do to me. There are lines around his eyes that weren’t there before, but his smile is still real. He’ll keep pushing until we get clear of this. Caban won’t ever quit until things are set right. We’re a lot alike, and I told him so. He blames himself for our last deal, just as I do, and perhaps just as Ice does. The one thing that hurts him the most is to see the crew banged up, especially on his account. It’s going to keep happening. We all did our jobs and it wasn’t enough. I won’t admit it’s luck, he won’t admit it failed him.

We’ll keep Running together. I gave Ice some of the coin I got from Nash Fuentes, to make sure we have fuel to keep us going. She won’t let it slip. In that moment of silent agreement, we saw in one another’s eyes another pact. Before the end we’ll both see that Blackthorn has his business done.